Parents aren’t taught how to mourn their children.
That’s because it goes against the natural order of things. We’re brought into this world expecting to die after our parents do.
Death is inevitable, we know this, but we can quell the fear of that inevitability with the expectation of who will outlive who.
So, what do you do when reality defies this expectation?
Turns out there’s a lot of mothers in Colorado trying to figure that one out.
Those are the stories you’ll hear in this new limited series, Lethal. Seven bereaved mothers, finding their footing and doing all they can to make sure their children aren’t lost to the past.
There’s a tragic throughline through each story you’ll hear - each mother lost their child to fentanyl poisoning.
Some of their kids were habitual users, others hardly ever did drugs. But all had their lives taken by one of the most potent drugs circulating around the country.
You’ll hear stories from:
- Sabrina Jankowski
- Elaine Lopez
- Adele Armijo
- Chanoa Maestas
- Diane Zyskowski
- Shelley Chandler
- And Tricia Otto
All of the stories you’ll hear are but a glimpse into the unimaginable terror and torment of losing a child.
The vulnerability and strength of these mothers are humbling.
We’ll begin with Sabrina Jankowski, and her late son Joey.
Listen:
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lethal ep 1 jackie nar Jackie Sedley
A trigger warning for this first episode of a new series right here on listener-supported KGNU. There’s discussion of drug use and abuse, overdoses and death.
A few fast facts on fentanyl:
- It’s a synthetic opioid, and MUCH more potent than naturally-occurring opioids like morphine or codeine.
- It’s 50 times stronger than heroin, and 100 times stronger than morphine.
- 2 milligrams of fentanyl is considered a lethal dose. That looks like 10-15 grains of table salt.
- It’s often unintentionally taken – sellers cut drugs like cocaine and Percocet with fentanyl to cut costs.
- Fentanyl often kills people that you wouldn’t “typically” consider at-risk for an opioid-related death.
- Now, possessing between one to four grams of a fentanyl compound is considered a Level 4 drug felony, punishable by up to 180 days in jail and up to two years of probation. Possessing 1 gram or less of fentanyl, or a fentanyl compound, is still a Level 1 drug misdemeanor.
- More facts on fentanyl
Many of the mothers you’ll hear from in this series want stricter penalties for those who possess and sell fentanyl. Others want to see the person or people who sold their kids fentanyl put behind bars. Regardless of what the individual path to healing looks like, each mother is searching for justice.
Resources:
Where to get Naloxone (commonly known as Narcan) in Colorado
Where to get fentanyl testing strips in Colorado:
Where to get support in Colorado for addiction:
Lethal:
Jackie Sedley: You’re tuned into listener-supported KGNU. This is a Public Affair. Hey there, I’m Jackie Sedley. A quick trigger warning as we enter the first episode of a new series right here on KGNU. There’s discussion of drug use and abuse, overdoses, and death. So keep that in mind as you enter this show, and feel free to come back to KGNU in 30 minutes or so if that content isn’t suitable for you right now.
Parents aren’t taught to mourn their children. That’s because it goes against the natural order of things. We’re brought into this world expecting to die after our parents do. Death is inevitable; we know this, but we can quell the fear of that inevitability with the expectation of who will outlive who.
So, what do you do when reality defies this expectation? Turns out there’s a lot of mothers in Colorado trying to figure that one out. Those are the stories you’ll hear in my new limited series, Lethal seven bereaved mothers, finding their footing and doing all they can to make sure their children aren’t lost to the past.
There’s a through line, a tragic through line through each story you’ll hear. Each mother lost their child to fentanyl poisoning. Some of their kids were habitual users. Others hardly ever did drugs, but all had their lives taken by one of the most potent drugs circulating around the country.
A few fast facts on Fentanyl. It’s a synthetic opioid and much more potent than naturally occurring opioids like morphine or codeine. It’s 50 times stronger than heroin and 100 times stronger than morphine. Two milligrams of fentanyl is considered a lethal dose. Picture 10 to 15 grains of table salt. It’s often unintentionally taken. Sellers cut drugs like cocaine and percocet with fentanyl to cut costs, and that often leads to the death of people that you wouldn’t typically consider at risk for an opioid related death.
As of a couple years ago, Colorado legislators revised the penalties for fentanyl possession. Now, possessing between one to four grams of a fentanyl compound is considered a level four drug felony punishable by up to 180 days in jail and up to two years of probation. Still possessing one gram or less of fentanyl is considered a level one drug misdemeanor.
Many of the mothers you’ll hear from in this series want even stricter penalties for those who possess and sell fentanyl. Others have focused on trying to get the person or people who sold their kids fentanyl put behind bars. Regardless of what the individual path to healing looks like, each mother is searching for justice.
You’ll hear stories from Sabrina Jankowski, Elaine Lopez, Adele Armijo, Chanoa Maestas, Diane Zyskowski, Shelley Chandler, and Tricia Otto. All of the stories you’ll hear are incredibly painful, but I want you all to remember that they only offer a glimpse into the unimaginable terror of losing a child. The strength of these mothers is humbling, and you’ll feel that throughout their vulnerable stories.
We’ll begin with Sabrina Jankowski and her late son, Joey.
***
Sedley: Sabrina Jankowski and I meet via Zoom. She’s in her classroom in Denver and only has a 30-minute break to talk before she has to get back to work. She teaches middle school and has been working in education for 19 years. She started around the time her son Joey began elementary school. I start off by asking her to tell me about Joey, what he was like, what he enjoyed doing.
She lights up immediately.
Sabrina Jankowski: Joey was a kid that everybody loved, hardworking, growing up, very athletic, played golf, hockey, lettered in both of those. Loved the mountains, loved the outdoors, anything and everything that was outside, that was part of Joey. So he’d go up to the mountains and do the back country skiing and take his dog with him and whatever it was that was daredevil-ish, that was my son. Somebody that everybody loved. And he had a smile that just lit up the room. He didn’t judge others. He welcomed people. He loved people, and he loved life.
Sedley: Sabrina’s smile starts to fade as she describes Joey’s funeral. Over 400 people attended his funeral service. She didn’t even know all of them and says that’s a testament to just how loved he was. Joey moved out of the house after graduating high school up to Fort Collins where his sister was attending college. He didn’t go to college himself, but learned how to be a master craftsman and a window glazer during that time.
Jankowski: So he lived that college life, so to speak, when he lived in Fort Collins. You know, college kids experiment, right? So, as I say, he didn’t go to college, but he lived that life. And I’m not saying that my son was ever innocent because you know, we as young people do stupid things and we experiment. And unfortunately, these are the days when you just really can’t do that any longer.
Drugs have never been safe, obviously, but you know, now they’re killing people. Right? And it doesn’t matter if it’s a pharmaceutical drug or if it’s a street drug.
Sedley: Of course, it goes without saying that drugs have killed people, since the dawn of medicine. There’s always been the potential to take too much, to misuse, to accidentally take laced drugs.
What Sabrina’s referring to here is the huge rise in popularity of fentanyl, the drug that took her son from her. There’s been a significant increase, not only in the number of seizures of fentanyl by authorities in recent years, but also the amount of fentanyl per seizure. There’s also been an increase in fentanyl related overdoses and deaths.
Joey decided to move back home at 23, back to Denver, and in with his mom to get his business off the ground. Sabrina says her son’s drug use was akin to a social drinker. He’d do it at parties from time to time, but was never a daily user of anything.
Jankowski: He turned 24, July 6th, 2022. And on July 11th, Joey got up like every day and went to work, worked 10 hours, got done with work, went and played nine holes of golf, and came home. And it was basically like the last night of his birthday week celebration. Him and I had dinner together and it was a late dinner ’cause he had gotten home late from golf. And then he shortly thereafter went to bed, before he went to bed after dinner, he just gave me a big hug and said, you know, mom, I love you. I’m so appreciative that you always support me on things. And, you know, just told me how much he loved me and appreciated me and gave me this big bear hug, which was the last time that he ever hugged me.
So then we went to bed, and shortly after going upstairs, I had realized I needed to tell him something else. I went into his bedroom and had a quick conversation. Why he decided to experiment at that time, I don’t know. He had snorted some cocaine, and the cocaine was laced with fentanyl. He died instantly. There was so much fentanyl in it. It was ridiculous. He died instantly. He didn’t have a chance. There was nothing, you know, no way.
Next morning, I woke up and he always got up very early, earlier than me to get off to work, and I noticed that his truck was still outside, which was very odd because he was very dependent and worked all the time.
Called for his name, no answer. Called again, no answer. Knocked on his bedroom door. No answer.
And I opened the door and I noticed that his dog was lying on the floor curled up next to the door. And I just was like, Joey, Joey. And I didn’t even look at him at first, and still no response. And when I didn’t get a reply, then obviously I looked at him, and he was sitting straight up, basically in his bed.
And there was a trail of what looked like shaving cream or whipped cream coming out of his nose, like the crop dust in the skies. And it literally circled, and it was like a foot long hanging in the air from his nose, just foam hanging in the air. And when I looked at him, obviously, I knew right then and there that he was dead.
Sedley: According to Joey’s toxicology report, he died of fentanyl poisoning and an extremely potent benzodiazepine. I pause at this point in our conversation, taken aback by how quickly Sabrina’s story turned to death. I felt like I was just getting to know who Joey was.
Jankowski: Like I said, I believe that he died instantly, and pretty much that’s been confirmed because of the toxicology report.
Joey bought that cocaine from a kid that he grew up with, that he went to elementary with. The kid moved here from Mexico in fifth grade, and Joey’s group of friends befriended him when they went to middle school, he found other kids to start hanging around with. So he more or less became an acquaintance from sixth grade on, but everybody knew that he dealt drugs.
His brother and him, I guess the mother had made them deal drugs to put food on the table at a very young age. And so it’s my understanding he started dealing in middle school. What age? I don’t know. I fed that kid in my house, and to know that he killed my son, and I can’t do anything about it, is really gut-wrenching.
It’s my belief that when Joey got done golfing, this kid, his name was Brian, kept hitting everybody up saying, buy from me, buy from me, I’ve got some really good stuff, blah, blah, blah, on Snapchat for months and nobody was buying from him, and then one of his friends responded and said, I’m not buying shit from you.
And the kid said, why not? Your buddy, Joey Jankowski, just bought from me last night, and said it was great. Well, I don’t know that Joey was able to even say it was great because Joey died instantly. But that’s what the kid had said, right?
Sedley: Sabrina reached out to the police and told them she knew who sold her son the lace drugs. She says they didn’t do a single thing to help.
I heard a similar story from almost every single mother I’ve spoken to that they reached out to the police and received nothing.
Jankowski: They told me that the only way that they would be able to arrest the kid is if they were to bust him, and whatever drugs he had on him at that time matched Joey’s toxicology report.
Well, that’s just ludicrous because a drug dealer hands out tons of drugs, it’s not gonna be the same, and you’re gonna go after him days later, it’s never gonna match. Right? So they closed my son’s case and have done nothing about it, and he walks free. He knows he killed Joey, and he moved or fled to Mexico, is what I was told.
And I believe he’s back in the United States now. The only thing that I am grateful for is the fact that he never had an opportunity to share with his friends because, you know, it would’ve been a much different situation had that been the case.
***
Sedley: If you’re just now joining us, you’re tuned into a new series called Lethal premiering right here on listener-supported KGNU. Lethal follows the story of seven bereaved mothers working through their grief and toward justice after losing their children to fentanyl poisoning. I’m Jackie Sedley, and we’ll go back to the first episode of Lethal now, following the story of Sabrina Jankowski and her late son, Joey.
***
I can tell Sabrina likes to focus on the brighter side when she can. She hasn’t smiled for several minutes at this point, but starts to, as soon as she talks about the community Joey built around him.
Jankowski: He just had such a great group of friends, close friends. And it was really cute because when they all showed up at my house to give their condolences, I don’t know, there was like 12 kids.
And like I said, he loved the outdoors. He would camp all the time, ski all the time, water ski. I mean, if it was nature, it was him, rock climbing, whatever. Whenever he would go camping, he would go up to Costco and buy his favorite things. And I guess he had like a list of traditional things he always bought.
And the boys all went to Costco and bought each of his favorites and so the first one handed me a bouquet of flowers, of roses. And then after that it was like oreos, water, these particular popsicles. And just like all of these different things that he would always bring camping. And then one thing that he always loved was soft blankets. And the second to the last gave me a new soft blanket and the last one gave me another bouquet of roses. But it was just a testament as to how much they loved him. And it was really cool that these young men even paid attention to those things about each other, you know? ‘Cause they were, they were all crazy.
They were all athletic, fun daredevils, you know, and just having fun in life. Some were graduating from college, some were not. Joey was, you know, the beginning stages of getting working so that he could make his business here and get his name out there.
Joey’s boss taught him everything that he knows. He goes, when I first met Joey and I’d see him on Mondays, I’d say, what did you do this weekend? And Joey would be like, oh, I did this, this, this, this, this, this. And he is like, nobody does that much stuff in a day this kid is blowing smoke, right? There’s no way he does all of that. And then as they got to know him, they’re like, that was a weekend occurrence. He did 60,000 things from the time that he woke up to the time that he went to bed, every minute was spent living. And he just, he lived, I mean, I’m 56, and when he passed away, I was 54. He had done so much with his life that I haven’t even done. And it was just amazing the life that he lived.
So in his honor, when he passed away, we had bracelets made. And the bracelets, they say, “live like Joey did”. His sister, my daughter, had those made because he did, he lived. He lived a life crazy, fun, adventurous, that’s who he was.
Sedley: Even with her son gone Sabrina’s constantly surrounded by kids, the sixth, seventh, and eighth graders she teaches. After losing Joey, she didn’t want to see any other kids’ life lost to fentanyl if she could help it. So she started talking about the dangers of drugs with her students, with other kids, in classrooms and on stages in schools, seeing if she could make any sort of a difference, stop anybody from experimenting in a dangerous situation. And she got word that her impact was felt pretty quickly.
Jankowski: One of my teachers that I work with, one of my colleagues, said, I just wanna let you know my son is in high school now and the other day some kids tried to get him to try drugs and he had said, you know, mom, all I could think about was Miss J on the stage and how Joey was a hockey player and how I’m a hockey player and how I don’t want that life for myself. And she gave me the courage to say no to my friends. And that day I was like, that was the first impact I had is feeling like I saved a life.
You know, I’m a reading specialist and I’ve taught hundreds of kids how to read. But to know that you saved a life means more than anything that I’ve ever taught in my 19 years of teaching.
Sedley: It’s been two-and-a-half years since Joey died. Sabrina runs a nonprofit now called FACT, Fentanyl Awareness Care Team.
Jankowski: FACT is a nonprofit that was built in his honor to go out and talk to kids of middle school age and high school age and make them aware of the dangers of fentanyl and everything else that’s involved with fentanyl. How to stay safe.
And eventually, we have plans to open up a clinic. That’ll be a clinic that’s for treating people who have lost loved ones to fentanyl through holistic approaches and traditional therapy. So that’s my long-term goal. But right now, the goal is to get out into as many schools as I can, spread the word, bring awareness, hand out Narcan.
But one thing that we say is it doesn’t matter how much Narcan you have in a room, if you’re experimenting on your own, you can’t save yourself.
Sedley: Via Zoom, I can see a handful of buttons on Sabrina’s jacket, one with Joey’s face on it. The picture used at his memorial and another that says, “Say No to Illicit Drugs.”
Thank you to Sabrina Jankowski for her vulnerability, perseverance, and willingness to keep turning her grief into action and education. And thank you Sabrina for trusting me to tell your story. I hope you think I did Joey justice. You can find Sabrina’s nonprofit website at F-E-N-T F-A-C-T, that’s fentfact.org.
One more thing, Sabrina told me that really stuck out to me. She said Joey never asked for anything from the time he moved out of the house at 18 up until he moved back home at 23. Joey wasn’t an addict, he wasn’t the prototype you might picture when you’re thinking of someone who has died from fentanyl poisoning. And I want everyone tuned in to keep that in mind as you listen to this series.
This can happen to anyone.
Fentanyl is just as likely to kill habitual drug users as it is to kill first-time experimenters. Joey could have been your kid. I don’t want this series to scare anyone straight.
I personally don’t believe in abstinence as a practical solution to overdoses, but I do think it’s crucial we stay informed, prepared, and realistic about the dangers drug use poses, even recreationally, even one time. You can find links to resources, including where to get testing strips, where to get the lifesaving nasal spray Narcan, and how to get support if you or someone you know is experiencing addiction at kgu.org. The next episode of Lethal will be coming to KGNU’s airwaves soon, so stay tuned.
Until then, stay well and stay educated. I am Jackie Sedley. Thanks for listening.
